Hello from the Dark Side, my fellow fans of Star Wars! ……well, the original trilogy anyway.
This May the Fourth, I’m here to give you nerdgasms, two at a time.
The Game of Thrones series, based on George RR Martins books, is well known for the tension it builds in each episode. You find yourselves praying for your favourite character to survive…but the writer will still kill them when you least expect it.
Add to that the intensely graphic violence…and love-making.
So today, we combine the Westeros and “A Galaxy far, far away” to find out – how would Star Wars have been..had our hero-killer George R.R. Martin written it.
The confusing relationship between Leia and Luke would’ve been full blown incest
Leia and Luke have a cute romance before they find out they are siblings. But in Star Wars – GOT version, the romance only grows. The scene in which they kiss will contain much more – and you thought The Golden Bikini was legendary.
In this new universe, Leia is even more badass. She loves Luke, but still overtly romances Han Solo. This way, she has a Jedi Knight and a handy tool (Solo) for herself at the same time. I know what you’re thinking…Yes, just like Cersei. (Virtual high-five to all Cersei fans out there!)
Kylo Ren would be the product of this sinful incest, he would be the Joffrey Baratheon of Star Wars. He inherits his power over the Force from Luke, but thinks Han Solo is his father.
The Jedi Order would not be an absolute good
Rather, it would be an ambiguous good, like the Night’s Watch. Except for some Jedi, most will be power hungry and arrogant. The Order would regularly interfere in politics, and there would be rampant infighting for leadership.
Yoda would be like Littlefinger, acting harmless but having a secret lust for power. He would still support the Light Side, but only to gain power. He would scheme and manipulate Luke to kill all who can threaten his superiority.
Also since he’s a shady guy, he won’t die. Yay, I guess?
Stormtroopers will be much more deadly, and ruthless as hell!
If GRRM had something to say about it, Stormtroopers will be much more accurate.
They would use the good advantage of their numbers and kill Jedi without much trouble. They will also regularly rape and pillage wherever they fight.
Also, many many more awesome Stormtroopers like this one :
We are not done with Queen Leia yet…
Also like Cersei, Leia will use her cunning mind and her brother/lover Luke’s status as a powerful Jedi Knight to gain enormous power. She will start a deadly war to rule the galaxy as a queen. Leia will be the one to bring the balance to the Force, taking the Dark Side head-on. She will never stop until the strongest of her enemies is dead…which brings us to…..
Darth Vader would be a very different sort of villain
The mighty Darth Vader would be completely consumed by the Dark Side.
So, this scene of reconciliation will never happen…Lord Vader would vanquish the half-Jedi Luke.
As an added villain-bonus, Vader would use his control over the Force to commit horrifying atrocities.
Ramsay Bolton could never torture people the way Vader can – Vader can literally turn your insides out with just a gesture of his hand!
Overall, Star Wars would have been a much darker universe had the story been written by George R.R. Martin. Luke and others we love will be dead, and the Dark Side would find a cunning adversary in Queen Leia. No offence to George Lucas, but Star Wars would be much more interesting had George R.R. Martin written it.
The only problem is…would Martin be able to finish the story before he dies?
Share with every Star Wars and GOT nerd they know, and watch them drool!
May the Force be with you.